As Scott, Norman’s brother, Theo, and I sat vigil in Norm’s hospital room in the days before he passed, I struggled with the thought of how to honor a legend of a man. As many of you know, Norm was born in Belfast, Northern Ireland, in April 1935. He immigrated to the United States in 1953, and became a United States citizen in 1956, while serving his three-year stint with the U.S. Marine Corps. Norm has always said that he eventually came to love the United States, Arizona especially, and never wanted to return to live in the UK or Ireland. But if any of you really know Norm, he has always been extraordinarily proud of his Irish heritage. So after doing some research, I thought it was only fitting we give him an Irish Wake.

What is an Irish Wake, you ask? The true roots of an Irish Wake are lost to history, as there are several theories of how it started and no one theory is leading. But what is not in dispute is that, unlike other wakes (like Catholic ones), Irish Wakes are anything but a somber affair. To ease the extreme sadness associated with the passing of a loved one, merrymaking became a common part of an Irish Wake and was a major part of the grieving process in Ireland. Storytelling, mischief-making, and games were all part of a glorious send off of the deceased and an attempt to ease the suffering of the living.

In a statement that Norm appended to his will, he writes that if we chose to have a memorial celebration, it should “be a happy one for all.” Well, given Norm’s feelings on the issue, an Irish Wake seems 100% appropriate.

Originally, the Irish Wake lasted for several days, while family and friends kept 24-hour vigil over the dead until the time of burial, mostly to ensure that the person was actually gone given the primitive medical technology at the time. But given the advancement of medical technology in the last few hundred years, the Irish Wake today is generally one afternoon or day. So, as you read this, we have our Irish Wake to honor Norm. Celebrate as long as you wish—we’re just happy you chose to share this time with us, even if in spirit.

An Irish Wake is not a party, but a respectful affair that focuses on turning the typical reverent tone in remembrance ceremonies on its head. That doesn’t mean there aren’t aspects of a traditional funeral or wake. One aspect of an Irish Wake is placing candles at the deceased’s head and feet. We’ve honored this tradition over the last year, but with our own twist—Norm’s favorite beers (MGD or PBR) representing the candle. Over the last year and in many different places, we have asked bartenders to pour out a beer for Norm and we’ve placed it next to us at the bar. We were even able to honor him during our 100-day trip by somehow finding an MGD in middle-of-nowhere Botswana. We hauled it with us in a crappy cooler over many days on the bumpy African tour transport truck, and on Christmas Day, Scott poured it out for him at Danger Point, Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe. Norm’s light, and most importantly his memory, burns brightly within all of us and will continue to burn as we move forward with our lives. When you see a candle flickering, take a moment to remember that it also represents how much we are all touched by Norm’s smile, awful jokes, and presence in our lives.

Irish Wakes are not devoid of prayers either. If you know any of us, you’d know that Norm, Scott, and I are not religious people, but there is one area where I can guarantee Norm prayed a lot – on the greens at the golf course! Notwithstanding that, we respect that others receive solace and peace through prayer. So we’d like you to take a moment of silence in honor of Norm – you may either pray silently to yourself, if you so desire; or take a moment to remember your favorite story or memory of Norm.

Speaking of stories, the very essence of an Irish Wake is everyone sharing stories about the deceased. I want to share some information and special stories with you in the context of describing other aspects of an Irish Wake. But we also want to hear stories from all of you and we invite you to please share stories and memories on the website Scott created for Norm at dad.rscottjones.com. It can be as elaborate as you wish, or something as simple as, I am [your name]__ and Norm is in my thoughts. And it can be at any time—either now or whenever you are thinking of him at any point in the future!

Food and drink are two prominent aspects of an Irish Wake – the more drinking, the better 🙂  No kidding, the research I found said traditional aspects of a Wake are mingled with “a lot of alcohol.” Holy shit – even more evidence an Irish Wake is the best way to honor Norm. So, we invite you to raise a glass to Norm, whether now or at any time in the future! Seriously, you think of Norm, raise a glass 🙂 And share it with us on the website too! Norm always made sure that everyone around him was never hungry, encouraging them to get food; and always insisted their beverages were neverlow. Of course, he always forgot his wallet when the bar tab came though! You’ll likely still find us washing dishes in the back of the bar to pay Norm’s bar tab 😉 But please ensure your beverage of choice is never dry. Norm would never forgive us all if that happened.

Thinking back on all the fun drinking times I had with Norm, two times are especially prominent in my mind. The first was in January 2020. Just after New Years, Scott, Norm, and I took a road trip to Death Valley. While we spent our days exploring, we spent several nights at a hotel in Pahrump, Nevada. Each night, we would head to the hotel bar, where we drank, told stories, and laughed ourselves silly until our sides ached. Then we would help each other stumble back to our hotel room. What a unique memory, especially since Norm would head to the hospital approximately two weeks after this trip with the health crisis that led to his move into assisted living.

The other one was more recent in time. A little background, we had to put Norm into the assisted living facility near our house on St. Patty’s Day in 2020 – literally the day it shut down for COVID. In 2021, once the residents were vaccinated, they were finally allowed to leave the facility. Norm was on Hospice then, following a bout with COVID and his ever-present health conditions. Scott figured that if he was on hospice, then going to the bar wasn’t going to bring more harm. So, he tossed his dad in his wheelchair and wheeled him to the Cold Beers and Cheeseburgers in front of the facility, which began a three-year tradition of going there. While Scott was normally the one who took his dad to Cold Beers, if Scott was out of town (likely either driving to our next adventure or from one we had just completed), the task fell to me. So, one of the first times I did this, I wheeled him over and we had a lovely afternoon of sharing beers and stories—in the low bar area next to the patio door. At the end of our adventure out, Norm INSISTED that he HAD to pay because a “gentleman always treats a lady.” I’m not sure where the gentleman and lady were at, but he insisted on paying nonetheless. One problem – Norm had his wallet, but there were no payment methods in it because Scott kept them. I knew this, but I didn’t want to make him feel badly. So I got up and went around to the other side of the bar to talk to Lauren, one of Norm’s favorite bartenders, and gave her my credit card and told her the situation. Well, she and the other bartenders said they would take care of it. So when I returned to my seat, Norm got out his wallet to pay, looked at the variety of cards left in there, and VERY confidently picked out and placed his AAA card in the payment booklet for payment. The bartenders were great, even presenting him his own credit card slip to sign (while I took care of the real one). I felt so wonderful that even in his ever worsening condition, Norm cared so much for me and wanted to treat me to an afternoon out.

But that was Norm to me – I’d known him for 8 1/2 years and he loved me unconditionally the entire time I knew him. I know that Norm wasn’t perfect. But I was lucky to have met Norm later in life and he treated me wonderfully, truly like his daughter, the entire time I knew him. I have thought long and hard to find a time that he ever said a cross or negative word to me – whether verbally or impliedly in any actions—and I can’t think of one. I have always felt unconditional love from the man and I am so fortunate. He and his brothers, Theo and Edmund, and their wives (Jeanie and Dorene) have done nothing but welcome me into their family, making me feel so loved and supported, especially when Norm’s health deteriorated and life got substantially more difficult for us. So thank you Theo and Jeanie, Edmund and Dorene, for all the support you’ve given Norm, Scott, and myself all these years.

But back to our Irish Wake. One thing that occurs during the many days of an Irish Wake is that the men sitting vigil at night might take shots of alcohol over the body. As much as I think Norm would actually get a laugh out of that, we changed the tradition a bit. The last few hours of consciousness from Norm were during a “rally” on Friday afternoon before he passed; when he was awake, alert, and chatty-Cathy. On the nurse’s suggestion, I quickly ran to Circle K and got beer and 3 polar pop cups and smuggled them all into the hospital. Earlier in the conversation and before I left, Norm had said something to the effect that we all had a new situation to get used to. So, when I came with the beers I asked him if he remembered saying that and he did. I asked him if he remembered how we celebrated new things and he said something to the effect of yes – we go out for a beer. And I produced the three polar pop cups with beer in them. He got a huge smile on his face and started sucking down the beer after we all had a proper “cheers.” No aspirating on it like he had with water; nothing but pure enjoyment. Scott and I will never forget that moment – ever.

So in honor of having shots over the body during the Irish Wake we’re going to have our own take on it. There are some folks that attended ASU games with Norm, and our ASU group has a tradition of taking a Fireball shot before game. We encourage you, now or at another time, to take a Fireball shot, or if you aren’t a Fireball shots kind of person, we ask you to raise your beverage to have a cheers to Norm.

Another aspect of an Irish Wake is the playing of games. We aren’t going to do that today, but instead focus on how games placed part in Norm’s life. Norm loved rugby and cricket growing up, and it’s my understanding that he played both often as a child; both in organized leagues and “pick up” games with his friends. In fact, Norm’s cricket bat and a ball sit in my home office and bring me a smile when I see them. Even regarding Norm’s rugby days, when we were sitting in the hospital, Theo shared with Scott and I how much he enjoyed going to watch Norman play rugby when Norman was playing.

Norm’s love of games traveled to the United States with him. Over the last many decades, Norm has come to love American football. When he and his family moved here to Phoenix from Detroit in 1987, following Norm’s heart attack and retirement from the DEA, he, Pat, and Scott began attending ASU football games. Through the years and decades since, Norm attended many ASU games, and endured the ups and downs of the teams throughout the seasons. One of our friends often talks about how he was sitting next to Norm at an ASU game years ago, an early PAC12 season game against USC. Unfortunately, ASU got dominated and at halftime it was 35-0, USC. The Trojans scored their last touchdown of the first half off of a bad ASU turnover and Norm finally had enough. As the players exited the field Norm stands up, looks around and yelled “This is bullshit!!” and then stormed out, mad as a hornet. Our friend couldn’t believe it because the Jones’s never left ASU games early! More recently, Norm and Scott (and Norm and I when I brought him to his treatments) shared a love of listening to the press conferences of ASU’s new coach, Kenny Dillingham. I love Dilly’s “zingers” during his press conferences and I am positive Norm would equally share in this love of zingers as the year progress. I’m not sure I’ll ever listen to a Dilly zinger without thinking of Norm.

Norm was also a huge 49ers fan for NFL games. He instilled this love for the 49ers into his son, and they shared many memories together watching 49ers games. I’m a huge Lions fan and during the 2024 NFC Championship game between the 49ers and Lions , I tried very hard to convert Norm to cheering for the Lions, because, you know, the Lions have always sucked. Nope, he held steadfastly to his love and commitment to the 49ers.

But Norm’s true love of games came later in his life – with golf. Now, if you think about the goals of golf, the whole point is to play the least amount of golf possible. But Norm’s golfing skills allowed him to eeeeck out the MOST amount of play of the game as he could – especially, I understand, with his putting skills. I’m sure his golf buddies have several stories that I hope they share. Ribbing Norm about his putting, his time spent in sand traps, and how many times he lost balls in the rough was a never ceasing source of enjoyment for all of us. He always took it in stride – and…..often agreeing with us 🙂

Another event that has been known to occur during Irish Wakes are contests of strength, which may include, and what I can only imagine are, inebriated friends, lifting the corpse. Don’t worry – there won’t be any such things today. But I do want to talk about and acknowledge Norm’s contests of strength throughout his life. Norm was 4 when WWII broke out in 1939 and 10 when it ended in 1945. Although he was a young child in Belfast, his father had recently passed away from an illness when the war broke out, and his mother was solely responsible for 4 young children. While she opened her home to individuals who needed nursing in their final days, she and the family contended with the Nazi’s sometimes relentless bombing of Belfast – a city that was key in Allied shipbuilding and munitions manufacturing. Norm would often talk about his childhood memories of his home being bombed, occurring so often the children were sent to the countryside for awhile. Talk about a contest of strength at a young age. Norm saw his first American soldier in Belfast and talked about receiving a red apple from a soldier. Belfast only had crab apples at the time and he and his brothers did not know what this red thing was. Funny enough, Scott and I have asked each of the three brothers to recount their memories related to the red apple incident, and all three are different. Needless to say, seeing this red apple was weird for all of them and I think the apple eventually got discarded, uneaten.

Norm’s mother gave Norm an ultimatum at age 18 – go to the United States or New Zealand, but you aren’t staying in Ireland. According to Norm, it was because he had gotten caught going into a Catholic church after a girl, and later, he got caught again dancing with a girl at a Catholic dance. There are other versions of this story and the truth is likely somewhere in between. But come to the US he did. Once here, Norm went from job to job. He talked often about being fired as a dishwasher and helper at a restaurant because he had no idea what food items were being asked of him to retrieve for the cooks – as Ireland didn’t have many of the vegetables we had here in the U.S.

Then Norm made, what I would call, one of the luckiest decisions of his life – he entered the U.S. Marine Corps. Don’t get me wrong, joining the US Marines is no dumb decision – it’s honorable. But see, Norm thought he had to do military service in the US because UK had conscription laws at that time. But here’s the thing – the US didn’t have conscription laws then. So there was no requirement for him to do so. AND HE JOINED DURING THE KOREAN WAR. So now Norm is part of the US military during time of active conflict – brilliant. But….Norm kept resisting his commanding officer’s requests to become a naturalized U.S. citizen and instead kept his British citizenship. Now, I’m convinced Norm didn’t really do anything of this on purpose and he was like “whatever” to the whole thing, but the effect of that decision to keep British citizenship prevented the US military from actually sending him to Korea. So he got super lucky and he spent his 3-years in the Marines stateside. Then, when he was getting close to the end of his enlistment, he decided to naturalize and become an American. Brilliant, Norm, brilliant. His 3-year enlistment allowed him to attend college, become an agent with U.S. Customs and then U.S. Treasury, and eventually the DEA. Fast forward to the last few years, his service gave him a VA pension that bridged the gap on the expenses for his assisted living facility. All because he thought he had to serve when he did not, in fact, have to. Talk about an unexpected feat of strength.

Listen to the Armed Services Tribute from Seamus Kennedy, especially relating to parts after the Marine Corps, which Norm would have especially loved 🙂 Semper Fi, Marine!

Norm also had to exhibit a feat of strength during his entire career with the DEA. As an agent with U.S. Treasury, he was one of the original agents who transferred to and “created” the DEA. In San Francisco, Tucson, and eventually Detroit, Norm served as an undercover DEA agent, investigating the cartels and mafia. I don’t know if any of you are familiar with the difficulties of undercover work, especially in the 1970s and 80s, but there was always a threat of exposure and death associated with undercover work. Norm’s undercover persona was “Paddy the Irishman,” which allowed him to infiltrate the mafia, and to a lesser extent the cartels. I imagine the IRA troubles during this same time supported his undercover persona. I’m a federal prosecutor and I work with and have worked with federal Special Agents from many agencies, including the DEA. From the stories that Norm has told, he was really good at his job, sometimes to his detriment. When I tell current DEA agents about the things Norm used to do in his job, the ubiquitous response is “there is no fucking way. What a badass.” Yes, badass is probably accurate. There is zero way agents today can do the things that Norm did during his career- likely because agents of then were so good that the cartels have now closed ranks and don’t allow the infiltrations they used to. All because of the unrelenting service of men like Norm. The United States should be proud of men like Norm, who got the job done, even when it meant taking a position contrary to management but was the right thing to do. Norm stuck to his convictions of right and wrong, even to his own detriment, and often without the knowing of his family. Talk about a feat of strength.

The feat of strength though really lies with his family. A life of an undercover agent is never easy, and it is especially difficult on the spouse and children. Each of us today can understand that no one likes to take our work home – and many people talk about leaving home at home and work at work, and most of us are successful in doing that. Norm’s job was different. Taking work home didn’t just mean dwelling on work-related issues at home, or not pulling weight around the house because you’re too stressed thinking about the job. In Norm’s world, if he took work home, that meant really, really bad guys might be coming after his wife and son. I cannot imagine the amount of stress and worry, whether conscious or subconscious, that reality wrecked upon Norm during those years. I would be remiss to not acknowledge that he didn’t always deal with this well, and I’m not here to blow smoke up anyone’s ass – he wasn’t always the best husband, father, or brother. People who are not in law enforcement or have family in law enforcement will never understand the toll it takes on everyone involved, each in their own way. These are some of the effects of serving your country have – the effects that no one talks about. But, luckily, later in his life, Norm and Scott developed a much better and loving relationship, especially in the last 4 years. I think both of them realized the sacrifices the other had to make and the last years of Norm’s life allowed Norm and Scott to grow a relationship of love and respect. A feat of strength on all parties’ part.

Irish Wakes also include the pulling of pranks. Norm certainly had countless stories of pranks being pulled while he was undercover with the DEA. When you group a bunch of young men together, competition and pranks are inevitable. Norm talked about how he and his colleagues had a long-standing competition relating to surveillance and busts of bad guys. The competition was this – who could be closest to the bad guys during surveillance and/or the bust won. Keep in mind, if the bad guys discovered the agents, it could go really badly and agents could lose their lives. And the price–probably just a beer at the bar. One time, Norm wanted to be as close to the bad-guys as he could, so he climbed this tiny little tree and laid on this branch that may or may not hold his weight so he could see inside the house. Well, the bad guys came out of the house and were directly underneath Norm and his tiny branch while they were doing the bad-guy deal. Yup, right underneath. Norm could hardly breath, willing the little branch not to break or else he’d fall directly on top of the bad guys. Luckily, no one noticed him. So I’m guessing he won that competition.

Another time this competition came to light was when Norm and his partner were on surveillance. Norm would often make his partner dress up like a woman and they would fake like they were making out so they could get as close to the bad guys as they could. Seriously.

Another prank they would pull in San Francisco was with other agencies. Norm and his colleagues would find out about investigations or busts that other agencies (like FBI) would be conducting,. They would do something, like calling in a bomb threat on the wharf, to make the other agency have to respond, and Norm and his colleagues at DEA would swoop in instead for the bust.

I can ONLY IMAGINE how many of these crazy stories there were during this time; stories that are lost to history. But the few stories we do know paint a picture of a daring, and likely dumb, young man who made the best of his situation to do what he could to serve the people of this country. At least, that’s my view of it 🙂

One of the last aspects of an Irish Wake is song and singing. As far as I know, Norm wasn’t particular about music or songs or artists. It wasn’t much of a passion in his life. So, to my knowledge, he didn’t have a song that was important to him. Scott and I often listen to Irish music and there are many songs that we love. Several years ago, I heard the perfect song and I instantly thought this was perfect for Norm’s memorial-The Night Pat Murphy Died. I don’t know why. At that time, the lyrics of the song weren’t especially meaningful or if you listen to it without really “listening” to it, weren’t frankly, appropriate. But I heard this song while I was driving to the hospital in the days before Norm passed, and, I’ll be honest, when I turned on Pandora to listen to the Irish music channel while I wrote this memorial to Norm, this song was actually the first song that played. After doing my research on Irish Wakes, the history behind them and the traditions that surround them, and after reading Norm’s statement to us on what he wanted after he passing, I could not think of a more perfect Irish Wake song to honor Norm. So I invite you to listen to the song, digest the words, remember your fun times with Norm, and clap along to the music.

The Night Pat Murphy Died by Darby O’Gill.

And, because everyone needs a good Irish song, we also have Finnegan’s Wake by Darby O’Gill.

Norm had such an interesting and different life than maybe anyone really knew. To a man that was always concerned on how I was doing and making sure that I was taken care of, he was the best father-in-law that I could ever have. I will truly miss him and his awful jokes, of course punctuated with some very good and well-timed zingers. Norm, you will be remembered fondly and for the legend that you were. I’m glad that you are at peace since you finally paid your (obviously overdue) last bar tab and walked out of the bar. Cheers!